Circle of Life

I went through life watching others take care of their parents, never really thinking that someday I would be doing it too.  You never think your parents will get old.   It's difficult sometimes to watch it happen.  Bodies and minds wear out.  Tasks that used to be simple, such as putting on shoes, becomes a long process.  Because of this my dad rarely takes his shoes off anymore.  He even sleeps in them.  Roles have been reversed.  My parents used to take me to the doctors and fill out all the forms.  Now I take them and fill out all the forms because they don't understand them.  My parents used to drop me off and wait until they knew I got inside safely.  Now I drop them off and wait to see that they get in the house ok before driving away.  My dad was an engineer.  He analyzed and thought though everything.  Now it's hard for him to even comprehend a piece of mail to determine whether it is junk or not, whereas that is something I can do before even opening it.  He reads and re-reads simple instructions to make sure he remembers them.... it frustrates him that his mind is no longer sharp and that makes him very grouchy.

 My mom is also not as sharp minded, but she laughs about it.  My mom has always been a happy-go-lucky type which is much easier to deal with.  It doesn't make it any easier watching it happen, but knowing she's not frustrated helps.  It's shocking to me that when I talk of her favorite things from the past, such as Carol Burnett, that she thinks and thinks, and says she just can't remember who that is.  Things that are not a routine are forgotten. 

Luckily they are now allowing me to drive them most everywhere they want to go which was a battle in the beginning.  My dad didn't want to lose that right, but it wasn't about losing a right, it became about losing his life, or the life of someone else.  I imagine it is hard to not be able to do the things you've done your whole life, to feel like you are useless.  My mom always says life isn't fair that you become like that in old age.  It really isn't.  I think the hardest part is knowing all the plans they had to travel, etc... but never got to do them because my dad got sick right after retirement.  I am not putting things off until retirement for that very reason.  Why wait?  If you can do it now, do it.  There may not be a chance later.