My 'be nice' is worn out

My mom was so crabby today.  It made me laugh because she is normally the sweetest person, even if she's faking it.  She has a particular neighbor though that drives her nuts.  They went to school together when they were young kids and somehow ended up as neighbors in retirement.  The neighbor loves to talk about those old days but fails to realize we've all heard it before..... a million times.  I can deal with it but my mom is tired of it.  She is also a hugger, and my mom is not, at least not with people other than her family.  Yesterday my brother went up to visit our parents and as they were leaving the neighbor came out and started talking to them.

Today my mom got so mad about that.  She said, "what the hell business is it of hers who comes to visit me?"  Ha!  I tried to explain that I think her neighbor is lonely because nobody visits her so she's probably just trying to be social.  My mom said she can't even get the mail without this lady hounding her.  I told her that just maybe talking to her makes the other lady's day.  My mom said, "so it makes her day, and ruins mine... that's not fair!"  So I told her just to be nice and talk a little and then say she needed to go.   Mom said, "my be nice is worn out."  Then she said, "well that may be ok if she'd stop hugging me.... I HATE THAT.... I wanna tell her to go hug a tree!!"   Hahahahaha!  Haha!

Seriously hilarious.  So now I'm trying to figure out how to have her tell the lady nicely not to hug her before she slaps her or something.  I can see it now.... old lady brawl in the driveway.  I'll be sure to keep my phone handy in case I need to video it.  Ha!