Well Why Not??

Every year when we get our taxes done when the person asks me, “any children?” I say 2... Then I laugh. Well, why can’t I deduct my dogs? I mean really people… they are just like kids. In fact, I’ve been told by many people that my 2 dogs are worse than their kids. Hah! Here are some examples of why they are the same…

They eat, sleep and poop. There you go. Want more proof… here goes…

1) They depend on you for everything. The difference between dogs and kids here is that kids grow up and eventually don’t depend on you whereas dogs still do depend on you.

2) They are taught from an early age “no no’s” and just like kids they do what they are not supposed to do… especially if you are in the bathtub or on the phone. Anytime I am out of sight and distracted by something like a nice hot bath, it can be guaranteed that when I get out I will find destruction. This is all done by our mischievous Cookie. This dog has been know to pull my collectible figurines off shelves, climb on the kitchen table, and grab the toilet paper and run with it down the hall. She’s a terror but keeps me laughing.

3) They whine. My Gizmo is an expert whiner… and she gets what she wants. She’s spoiled rotten. If she is not fed at the precise same time each day, she will let out a simple little whine to "remind" me it is time for HER to eat. If I don't jump up right then, her simple whine become gradually louder until it's a full out bark. Annoying little twit. Bow down to Queen Gizmo.

4) You have to potty train them and they will occasionally have their little boo boo’s just like a kid will poop his pants or wet his bed. Unfortunately we can't use diapers to catch those boo boo's.

5) You have to bathe them, feed them, brush their hair, cut their nails, clean up barf, wipe boogies from their noses, and sometimes poop from their hineys.

6) They cost a lot of money to feed. You’d think I had 2 pigs instead of dogs.

7) They cost money to dress… yes I dress them in flannel sweaters in winter since it’s -45 sometimes. I also put them in t-shirts in spring or fall when it’s really muddy outside so that I can wash the shirt and not the dog everyday.

8) They need shots, yearly medical wellness exams, allergy pills and in Cookies case constant medication to prevent blindness and seizures. Their medical bills cost more than mine. I should have bought “doggie insurance”.

9) They need love, and give lots of love in return.

10) They love to play. I think my dogs have more toys then I had growing up. Ha ha!

11) They constantly have their hands (ok paws) in the cookie jar. They love treats. I have relocated their treats many times because ‘Cookie’ (she was named well) always knows where her treats are and has learned to open cupboards. Now the treats are in a cupboard up high. I’m waiting for her to learn to drag a chair across the floor and hop onto the counter. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens… she’s that smart, and even more sneaky.

12) If anyone tried to take, or hurt my dogs I would rip their heads off… just like a parent would if someone tried to hurt their kids. Don’t mess with my dogs.

13) Just like people think their kids are ‘the cutest’, I think my dogs are cuter than your dogs. SO THERE!

So, why can’t I deduct them on my taxes? Dorks.