Going insane... wanna come?

I'm losing it. We went the entire week without hearing from the job in Virgina. We figured it was a 'no'. Tonight at 9:30 pm the phone rang and it was the guy telling us he would be sending a contract to look over tomorrow. Whether he would send it by e-mail or snail mail he wasn't sure yet, but it was coming. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour. We want this to work, but at the same time I'm scared to death. This is the biggest risk we will be taking so far in our lives. By the looks of things, renting an apartment would be much more expensive than to just buy a house. We both want that anyhow but I have NO clue how to even approach buying a house from a distance. Who do I call? Who do I trust?

Part of me is excited for the opportunity for Shaun to leave this place and depart from the hurt and anger. I'm excited for him to have the opportunity to do something else, less physical. It's an opportunity he will NOT get again, we are sure of it. For a person to hire Shaun in this position without prior experience is rare. But the other part of me is so afraid. I'm so terrified that we will move and things will go downhill. I'm terrified that we will go through all our savings just to survive and then what? Damn it.... why am I cursed to worry so much. Shaun isn't even thinking about it until the offer is in his hands. Why can't I do that? I want so much to be able to turn off my head. It's driving me mad, and my ulcer is about to spring a leak. Ha ha! I imagine I won't be sleeping tonight..... or anytime soon.

And....... It's just my luck that we find a freaking job now. I just paid 650 bucks to fill our propane tank for the winter AND bought a new box of checks from the bank. I swear.